Slick Like Vick

Photo Courtesy of Deadspin

Q: If an animal attacks a PETA supporter, do the rest of the PETA people have to stand there and watch it happen so as not to hurt the animal? Or, would the attackee even want to be saved because if he was saved, he would be interrupting the animal's meal?

This question was posed by an Edmontonite named Ronnie in a mailbag column by Bill Simmons back in 2004. Any time anyone references PETA for any reason, this question pops into my head and I have a good chuckle.

Let's just say I've had plenty of reasons to chuckle tonight.

Michael Vick is headed to the Illadelph with a two-year contract. Understandably, the most commonly-used adjective thus far has been "shocked". Listening to the Brian Kenny show on ESPN Radio on my way home from picking up dinner, the reaction was mixed. Some fans were geeked, one said he was turning in his season tickets.

Here's why I think this is a good move for Michael Vick:

The Eagles are one of the most stable franchises in a city full of incredibly faithful fans, no matter how boisterously they may boo some days. The team is already full of athletes and playmakers: Donovan McNabb, Brian Westbrook, DeSean Jackson, and the rookie Jeremy Maclin, among others. Despite all of Andy Reid's so-called struggles, he has shown that he can get all he can from his players. (Well, almost...but really, has ANYONE put a leash on T.O.?)

Anyhoo, Vick can be useful in that kind of system and may be a missing piece to the Eagles' Super Bowl puzzle. They do have to confront the Falcons in Atlanta, however, on December 6. What a reunion that would be...

PETA, of course, has already said their piece through spokesman Dan Shannon:

"PETA and millions of decent football fans around the world are disappointed that the Eagles decided to sign a guy who hung dogs from trees. He electrocuted them with jumper cables and held them under water. You have to wonder what sort of message this sends to young fans who care about animals and don't want them to be harmed."

As much as young Philly fans surely love puppies, they and their daddies would probably love a Super Bowl trophy a little bit more.

By the way, the answer to that question to start the column? Here it is from the Sports Guy himself:

I'm afraid to say anything right now. Those PETA people are like Scientologists -- you don't even want to look cross-eyed at them. They're terrifying.

**Chuckle**